Anti cheating dating site
A scientist poking at his marriage in a petri dish, outlining the shape of his discontent.
He didn't have sex with the first woman he met from the site, so he doesn't feel guilty.
He tells me he had a brief affair with a woman from one of his company's offices.
He joined Ashley Madison because that encounter left him wanting more. "Everything about her consumed my thoughts, and that's when I first signed up.
It doesn't matter, because he says he can imagine my voice; he says he knows exactly what it must sound like.
When he is standing on the soccer field and children are moving around in a blur, he says, he slips out of the game and thinks of me, and if his Black Berry vibrates in his pocket, he hopes that it is me.
We talk about books, and he says his wife doesn't excite this part of his brain.
By definition, Ashley Madison, a dating site for cheaters, is a disreputable place. Your first impulse may be to throw your arms up in rage and condemn its members, the ones trawling for an affair or the chance to talk dirty in an instant message. I set out to ask married men on the site not only why they cheat, but why they do it so boldly, admitting their recklessness and confessing their betrayals on the Internet as though their morality and fidelity were items up for auction on e Bay. One of the men has a tagline on his profile that reads, "At your cervix, madam." Within moments of signing in, instant messages flush my screen, emails and winks from muscular men and men much older than me and young ones and proud fathers and one gray grandfather, worming out like monsters from the baseboards. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised: 68 percent of the site's members are men, and their average age is 44 — right in his demographic. Some wax their chests and others are darkly forested.
To get started, I create a profile with a fake name and a dark picture of myself and chart a plan. Then I'll meet a few of them for a drink, but there will be no drunkenness. I say I'm scared to live the rest of my life with unexplored desire. But my jaw hits the ground anyway when I realize whom I'm looking at. One man takes a picture in front of his 1987 Camaro, parked outside of a diner.
They are beautiful, the son eating an ice cream cone, the young girl in overalls. is holding her up and she is grabbing his finger, and the finger is wearing a wedding ring. He believes that marriage is a path all men must travel at some point. wants to meet me, but he's not sure he can steal time away.
His message says, "Although we haven't yet met, something has happened (at least for me). is an engineer in his early 30s who practices birdcalling in his spare time, and sends me pictures of his younger days, when he went boating and life was dangerous and uncharted. If they've dated a woman for number of years, marriage comes next, an obligatory stop on the endless conveyer belt. For now, he is content to write — to paint the picture of the moment we lock eyes across a bar.